Saturday, March 18, 2006

Movie star in training

Butterfly has new sunglasses since her stroller shade isn't too impressive, especially when we are walking into the sun. Aren't they glamourous? Especially with that ultra-fashionable bib....

Since she doesn't even seem to notice she's wearing them, we don't yet have the problem of her taking them off and trying to snack on them. I guess I'll have to make sure she has toys to chew on when she wears them.

On a completely unrelated note, I got 7 inches cut off my hair a week ago and only one person commented. I guess long hair is long hair, even 7 inches shorter.... Either that or I truly am invisible!

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Happy MY-birthday to you!

It is because I love you I give you for a MY-birthday present the George Jetson song. To hear it go to my new little website (www.julianalovespy.com) and click on the first link, Come And Get Me, George Jetson.

It is my favorite song I've written, and if you like it, feel free to download it by right-clicking on the link. The only thing I ask in return is that you let me know what you think about the song here in the comments section. And would you like to hear more of my songs? We are in the process of trying to decide what to do with my music - whether to pursue playing out live or record more songs or forget the whole thing, so any opinions you have would be much appreciated! [Please be honest. If you think it's just so-so or that I should just forget it altogether, you don't have to leave your name!]

Here are the lyrics to the song about an optimist living in a world of pessimists. I had a real dream one night about a hotel in the stars, and it looked like a really nice place to go.

Come And Get Me, George Jetson

Yesterday was ok
But yesterday went away
Now they say everyday
Things will fall apart at the seams
Everyone says the sky is falling
But I don't know if it's true

So can you come and get me, George Jetson
In your funny spaceship car
And drop me off at the hotel in the stars
Where I can run around in circles
In my iridescent dress
Until I dance and spin my way back to
Happiness

Well, if I could see what they see
Well then maybe I would believe
But to me, can't you see
It's just not as bad as it seems
I know they tell me that the sky is falling
But I don't think that it's true

So can you come and get me.....

Cause I don't believe the stars are
Just hanging by a thread
They just need some polish, that's all

So can you come and get me....

Cause I don't believe that we are here
Just hanging by a thread
We just need some polish, that's all

Friday, March 10, 2006

I am amazing. Truly.

I am an amazing person. Incredible, really.

Now before you start thinking, 'Wow, she really has a big head', believe me I don't. I've always my whole life felt 'not-good-enough' and just plain inadequate to varying degrees. However, thanks to much LOVE and affection tossed my way throughout the years, I've pretty much gotten that nasty nagging voice down to a teensy-weensy little whisper that only pops up occassionally. Like when I see ridiculously thin super models on the covers of things when I am waiting in line at the grocery with my cart full of food that will get me farther and farther away from ever being truly thin again. And, excuse me - why do they show us these pictures and try to get us to buy lots of food at the same time??? Especially the junk food right next to them. Wouldn't it make more sense to have all the 'Don't You Want To Be Skinny And Beautiful?' magazines for sale at the gym or something???

Anyway, where was I? Oh - No, I do not have a self-esteem the size of Brazil (the 4th largest country....I don't know how I know that. Is it true?) In fact, that love I referred to above made it possible for me to acquire what little self-confidence I currently have. It is fragile, like an African violet, but thankfully my wonderful husband and delightful friends know just how much water to give it so it will grow, and I think it might just show some tiny blooms one day. I hope they are purple!

So...back to what I was saying at the beginning: I am astoundingly incredible. And how do I have enough confidence to know that?

Well, I was just looking down at the perfect sleeping baby in my arms and it hit me: she came from me. This utterly perfect, perfectly beautiful, beautifully happy, happily content creature was formed in MY BODY. She grew and grew and then somehow someway I got her from in there to out here (ugh....there are no words). And every bit of nourishment she has ever received has been from me - every drop. And I can make her smile a gi-normous smile by just glancing her way and saying hello. And I can get her to stop crying better than anyone else in the world. Sometimes I am just the only one who will do. Me. I can do all that. I just cannot fathom it.

So it doesn't really matter anymore that I didn't make a 4.0 in college. Or dropped out of graduate school. Or that I never picked a career. Or that there's all this untapped 'potential' here that may never get tapped at all. Or that I never made much money. Or that my hair isn't brushed or my shoes don't match my purse or I wear white after Labor Day or I don't sit with my legs crossed like a lady or that I have a poochy tummy and my clothes are never all put away at once. So what? I did something BIG. And though she looks little right now, she is huge to me. And I did it right.

(Of course, it was probably because I didn't have any control over any of it, but that's a whole other topic...)

So it is today, the day before my 37th birthday, that I say with the psalmist: 'I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful. I know that full well.'